1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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