Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
