I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
