I need help removing her.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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