No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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