i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
