i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
