I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
