am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
