"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
