I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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