Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
smell my finger.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.