her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.