Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
