so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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