fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
