Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
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He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
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I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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