Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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