if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
