dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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