you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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