can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
