apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
