TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize