They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
