how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
