The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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