Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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