i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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