After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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