it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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