I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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