He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize