He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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