You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
