Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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