I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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