I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
