Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
