I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
