At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
