I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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