This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
