actually, I'm a sock model
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
