You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
