He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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