Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
