so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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