I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
