We named our party play list daddy issues
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
