you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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