dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
two words...techno handjob
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
