It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
