I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
