I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
