How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
