last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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