a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
