he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
