End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.