so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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