i can't believe i had my finger in that
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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