If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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