I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
