thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
