dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
