No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
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Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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