Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
