My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my being single is dangerous.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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