I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
